Ok, for those who don’t know I have severe depression and anxiety. It’s the primary reason why I currently have no day job and no source of income. I recently had to stop seeing my therapist because I’ve run out of savings. I get sick a lot because, on top of having my immune system weakened by depression and anxiety, I also have anemia and a poor diet. I have a poor diet because I’m highly lactose intolerant and dairy free diets are expensive. On top of all this, my ADHD amplifies my symptoms of depression and anxiety because it makes it so hard to focus on what I need to do and makes my hyperfocus on poisonous thoughts and actions. All of this leaves me with low energy throughout the day and makes it difficult for me to do even simple things like get out of bed in the morning.
I started this blog because I love to write and I love to talk about writing. Don’t worry this isn’t some lead in to a goodbye or anything. It’s just I was so excited to start this and really focus in on writing and making my living as a writer. Cause there is nothing I want more than to do just that.
Unfortunately, in my excitement and rush to get this whole thing going and get content out as fast as possible… I wound up taking on too much too fast. I didn’t even have a proper backlog when I started. I forgot to take my own mental health into consideration. Something I do frequently. I’m very good at taking care of others. I’m terrible when it comes to taking care of myself. I need to change that or I’m never going to get better.
This past week I had a family emergency to deal with. While everything seems to have turned out fine I think it’s acted as an eye opener for me in regards to just how much I’m doing and how much it’s making me ignore all the other things that are just as, if not more, important. I won’t go into detail about what happened. I wouldn’t mind speaking about it but my family is very private so I know they would mind. I mean, my cousins got really nervous about including their children’s birthdates in a family tree project I was doing for school. so there you go.
Basically, I’ve become overwhelmed several times these past few months and it’s time I took a step back and change things so I can take better care of myself. As such I won’t be getting an Infuriating Fantasy article out tonight. I know it’s late notice and I apologize for that. But the longer I delay the easier it will be for me to come up with excuses and stop trying to take care of myself again.
I will also be taking the next week off so I can rest up and focus on some fiction writing. I don’t know if I will be needing more than that but I will let you guys know if I do. When I return it will be to a schedule change with the whole blog. Here’s the low down:
Coalition for Terran Defense: The super hero series I’ve been talking about will be a monthly thing instead of every two weeks and I won’t be able to get the first story up on Monday like I had hoped. I don’t have a due date yet but I’ll let you know when I do.
Infuriating Fantasy: this series will still be on Fridays but I’m gonna move it back a bit to give myself more time in the day to work on it. It will be to either 7PM or 8PM PST.
DiFR: This series will be moved to Mondays so that I’m not rushing to get it done before game night or my local Bisexual Women’s Group. They will also be later in the evening so expect to see them at either 7PM or 8PM PST
Diverse Fantasy Chat: This will remain on schedule but I will be dropping the highlights post. I will still be doing Storify’s of the chats though and I will post links to them here for people to read through. This will also allow those of you not on twitter to participate by posting comments on the blog where the storify link is.
That should cover everything. If any of you have any questions, comments, or feedback please leave a comment or you can contact me through one of the many methods on my contacts page. Thank you all for your understand and I hope to be back soon.
Take care of yourselves everyone.
Mars WaterDragon 